


"do you think i'm pretty?"

by novoaa1



Series: the spectacular misadventures of drunk!regina [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Ice Cream, POV Evil Queen | Regina Mills, a rather inebriated regina just inviting herself into emma's loft for ice cream and fun times, drunk!Regina, set like maybe the middle of season 2 or something?, skdjfsdlkj, you know how it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22020649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novoaa1/pseuds/novoaa1
Summary: She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that—luckily for her, though, another elated exclamation from Regina was quick to pull her from her thoughts: “Oh, my God—you havestrawberry!”(You’ve got to be kidding, Emma couldn’t help but think.The Evil Queen’s ice cream flavor of choice is….strawberry?)Or: Regina's drunk. Emma's confused. You know, just a typical day in Storybrooke.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Series: the spectacular misadventures of drunk!regina [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585006
Comments: 11
Kudos: 133





	"do you think i'm pretty?"

**Author's Note:**

> sdlfkjsdlfj i just started watching once upon a time 
> 
> its aight 
> 
> anyways so i wrote this on a plane so apologies if it seems rushed/just outright sucks but it's based off of [this tumblr's](https://sattelite-of-love.tumblr.com) drunk!regina tag cause i found it a couple days ago and thot it was hilarious

By all accounts, Emma Swan was having a bit of a day to begin with long before Regina showed up at the loft absolutely reeking of wine mingled with a sweet-smelling perfume that probably cost more than Emma’s Bug, sloppily knocking twice on the wooden door and whining “Emmaaaaaaaa” from the hallway on repeat until finally, finally, Emma came to the door. 

“Emma!” Regina cheered when the door swung open to reveal a decidedly unamused Emma just inside. The woman looked as if she’d just come from her office, dressed in unreasonably high heels and yet another of those skin-tight quote-unquote “business formal” dresses she seemed to take literally every given opportunity to parade around in. (This one was a deep burgundy hue, perfectly matching red-painted lips as they parted to reveal a blindingly white smile that Emma was absolutely convinced wasn’t meant for her—not in this reality, anyways.)

Emma blinked owlishly back at her, rather at a loss. “Yes?”

“Hell-o!” Regina slurred, unceremoniously pushing her way right past Emma and further into the loft, humming a tune to herself all the while that Emma couldn’t quite place. 

“Um,” Emma managed awkwardly as Regina strode on wobbly legs into the kitchen, the clearly inebriated woman tugging open the refrigerator with one hand while the other raked its way through glossy midnight-black waves. “Henry’s not here…. David took him to the park—"

“Do you have any ice cream?”

Emma furrowed her brows, shutting the front door and locking it as something of an afterthought before turning back to observe Regina’s drunken movements in the kitchen with wide eyes. “What?”

“I want ice cream,” Regina whined into the fridge, sounding for all the world as if she was quite suddenly on the verge of tears. 

“Shit,” Emma murmured. “Um, yea,” she amended, jolting into action: approaching Regina in the kitchen and placing a gentle grip upon either shoulder to move the pouting woman aside before swiftly shutting the fridge and opening the freezer below instead, then turning back to address Regina while gesturing vaguely towards the illuminated interior. “You can, um, choose whatever you… want.”

“Oh, Emma, thank you!” Regina exclaimed, lunging forward and throwing her arms around Emma’s neck—quite suddenly, Emma found herself with an armful of Regina, the woman's body so warm and supple within Emma’s embrace, the sweet scent of her filling Emma’s nostrils… 

_Oh, my God_. “Um, I—You… Regina?”

“Eek!” ( _Since when did she make that noise?_ ) "I _love_ ice cream!” Regina detached herself rather abruptly from Emma, then (Emma loathed the way her body tingled where the memory of Regina’s touch lingered), leaning her well-manicured hands against the sides of the fridge and intently examining the freezer’s contents as if it were golden treasure, all bright eyes and childlike giddiness and a truly adorable sort of skepticism that had a confusing warmth spreading unbidden in Emma’s chest, like… fondness, almost. 

She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that—luckily for her, though, another elated exclamation from Regina was quick to pull her from her thoughts: “Oh, my God—you have _strawberry!_ ” 

( _You’ve got to be kidding_ , Emma couldn’t help but think. _The Evil Queen’s ice cream flavor of choice is…. strawberry?_ )

“Yea, um, I’ll go get you a spoon.”

“Thank you, Em-ma,” Regina cooed as Emma turned to fetch her a spoon. (She hoped Regina wouldn’t notice the heated flush rising to her cheeks at just how… _nice_ Regina was being right now. How _familiar_ and _unguarded_.) "You’re kind. _Super_ kind. The kind- _est!_ ” Regina declared as Emma returned with a silver spoon, which she was all too quick to snatch in one hand while she held the strawberry ice-cream pint tightly against her chest with the other. (Emma wondered briefly if she was dreaming this whole thing.) “Like…. Hm…” Regina hummed, trailing off—all too suddenly, though, her eyes lit up and her troubled expression cleared as she gave Emma yet another absolutely blinding smile. “Like a _Kind_ bar! I looooove Kind bars.”

… _Wow_. “That’s… Me, too? I think?”

“You’re like a Kind bar,” Regina repeated resolutely, lazily pointing the business end of the spoon straight at Emma and looking for all the world as if she thought she’d just said something particularly enlightening.

Emma nodded with lips pressed tightly together, doing her very best to play along. “Okay. Um… Okay. Do you want, um, some… water? Or anything?”

Regina giggled at that but shook her head as she scrabbled with blunt fingernails to uncap the strawberry ice cream in her grip. “No, thank you, Kind bar.”

“Okay, um… do you want to, like, watch a movie, then?”

Regina gasped excitedly at Emma’s suggestion, nearly dropping the ice cream pint in the process. (God, this was taking _years_ off Emma’s life.) “A _movie!_ ”

“… Yes, Regina, a movie,” Emma repeated warily as Regina finally uncapped the ice cream pint with an excited squeal, flinging the lid onto the countertop absently before digging her spoon hastily into its remaining contents.

“Movies are nice,” Regina mused, balancing a large spoonful of pink-tinged ice cream and subsequently shoving it rather inelegantly into her mouth. (The delighted moan that followed the action _really_ shouldn’t have had the ridiculously stimulating effect on Emma that it did.)

“… So, is that a yes to the movie?”

Regina frowned at that, her next words muffled by the spoonful of ice cream in her mouth: “Emma, do you think I'm pretty?”

“ _What?_ ”

Regina’s eyes immediately welled with unshed tears. “Is that a ’No’?” 

“I— _What?_ "

— —

**Author's Note:**

> thinkign about maybe doing more lil one shots of this cause i think that'd be mad funny
> 
> let me know what u think?
> 
> also here’s the link to my 


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